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Dec 3

It's the time of the year...

geschrieben von Birgit am 03/12/2017 22:29



Good evening,
 
It's the time of the year which makes us feel different. The days are different as it's getting dark at approx. 4:00pm and as it's colder than usual we snuggle up on the sofa more often. The first decorations are up and everyone is more or less excited about Christmas...
 
I'm usually far to early into Christmas: the first songs are played at least in the middle of November and our decorations are out of their boxes at the same time as well.
 
But this year it's different - I'm different... just can't get into the spirit of Christmas.
 
I'm enjoying decorations and watch the villages and towns changing day by day but I'm just not into it. Christmas songs don't do their job at the moment.
 
Having thought 2017 would be a better and positive year (considering what I've been through in 2016 with my treatment) it turned out being a difficult and challening one.
 
I've been fighting cancer
I've been fighting to keep our business going
I've been facing moments which made me think is it all worth it
I've been trying really hard to keep on my feet and struggled a few times
I've started questioning everything
I've stopped trusting myself
I've been always trying to stay positive
I've been caring about everything and everyone but me...
 
I'm not trying to look after myself a bit more and be grateful for what I've got.
 
"Hey, I'm still alive and on my feet!"
 

 
I'm just very low on energy...
 
I'm not sure what's waiting for me and what the future brings (won't look back) but I will get there step by step:
 
 
 
 
Only a few days ago I came across a song which at the moment means a lot to me:
 
Click on the following link or have a look at the lyrics:
 
 
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMxL3_P9eNE&list=RDlMxL3_P9eNE
 

Grateful (Rita Ora)

There were a lot of tears I had to cry through
A lot of battles left me battered and bruised
Now I was shattered to have my heart ripped in two
I was broken, I was broken
There were a lot of times I stumbled and crushed
When I was only years down to my last chance
So many times when I was so convinced that
I was over, I was over
But I had to fall yeah
To rise above it all
I'm grateful for the storm
Made me appreciate the sun
I'm grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I'm grateful for the pain
For everything that made me break
I'm thankful for all my scars
'Cause they only made my heart
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful

I was thinking I was trying to end out
From all the pain that was weighing me down
I pulled it together and I pulled myself out
Learned a lesson, learned a lesson
That there's a life you gotta go through hell, yes
But that's what got me strong, I got no regrets
And I've got only love, got no bitterness
I count my blessings, count my blessings, yeah
I'm proud of every tear, 'cause they got me here
I'm grateful for the storm
Made me appreciate the sun
I'm grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I'm grateful for the pain
For everything that made me break
I'm thankful for all my scars
'Cause they only made my heart
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful
There is nothing I would change
Not even one mistake I made
I got lost, found myself, found my way
I'm grateful for the storm
Made me appreciate the sun
I'm grateful for the wrong ones
Made me appreciate the right ones
I'm grateful for the pain
For everything that made me break
I'm thankful for all my scars
'Cause they only made my heart
Grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful, grateful
Grateful
You know that I'm grateful
You know that I care
No time for the wrong ones
I'll always be there
Grateful
Grateful, grateful
I'm grateful
Grateful, grateful
Oh, I am
Grateful
Oh, I am grateful

 


 
 



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